It’s Always What You Didn’t See Coming

Hey, pretty girl!

Growing up, I was always told that “you’ll find love when you stop looking for it.” Now, I would always pray to God for my person and tell Him I wasn’t looking anymore so that He would send me that person. I think every one of us has done this at some point, fully knowing that we are hoping God won’t notice we were 100% still searching. While we all do this at some point, He truly knows all. I find it so silly that we do this knowing that God already has a direct plan for us and we will receive on His terms and when He sees fit for us.

I was guilty of praying that I loved myself and I was ready for a deep relationship, time and time again. In the months prior to quarantine, I had lost my connection and patience with the Lord almost completely. I started believing that I could go find my person without His help and ignore every red flag He was sending me that I needed to be patient and it was not my time quite yet. When March 17th hit and I was moving my entire life out of college and back to my childhood bedroom, I realized that while I had progressed in some ways at college, building an outer layer of confidence and self love, I was anxious and untrusting of Him on the inside.

I was prepared to go through the five months of quarantine, before heading back to college, by myself. I was prepared to be working, blogging, reading the Bible and exercising – things that I believed would help better prepare my confidence and self love for a fulfilling relationship. I quickly learned to love the time I had by myself and who I was as a person.

And I guess whoever told me that when I “stop looking for love, I’ll find it,” was right. Because this time, my relationship was just so unexpected. However, I don’t know if the cause of finding love is that you stop looking for it. I believe that God’s timing is so good and so above what we expected, that it’ll make any season of your life just that much better.

I didn’t expect for a brief encounter to turn into nightly FaceTime calls that turned into 1am drive homes from each other’s houses. I wasn’t looking for love. I was looking for myself. And that’s when I met Jack.

To you, this picture may just be a picture

Just a prarie with some flowers

Just a blue skyline

Just some trees trailing off in the background.

But to me, this photo is a moment

It’s Joe Pyeweed and Monarcha Birds

It’s hiking on trails and ducking under barbed wire

It’s firefly watching and tasting sweet honey off a shared spoon.

To you, this photo is a picture.

To me, it’s what I prayed for years to recieve.

And it’s in moments like this, that I wish I could stop time to hold onto them for just a little longer, before making even more moments I want to freeze in time. Because God chose this to be the time I received what I had prayed for years for, because He knew when the right time was. One of the greatest joys in life is when you receive something you’ve been praying for, and watch God elevate your prayers to a level you never even imagined was possible.

With Love, Marin

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