Hey, pretty girl!
When it comes to dating, especially in college, it can be extremely difficult to figure out what someone wants from you. And even when there are a million red flags, it can be incredibly easy to overlook them. I compiled a list of things that can come off as “mixed signals” but are actually just big red flags that he is playing games with you.
He says that he “doesn’t know what he wants right now”
- If he uses this excuse, it’s usually because he’s trying to keep you around as long as possible. If he tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship, he won’t be able to keep you. This does not mean “I’ll want to date you eventually” (I cannot emphasize this enough)!! This is just a sign that he is NOT MATURE enough for a real relationship.
He is a dry texter/doesn’t respond in a timely manner
- This is one of my personal biggest pet peeves. I think of myself as an incredibly busy person. When I was back at school I juggled working off campus, student senator responsibilities, class AND social time with my friends. However, I always make time to text back the people I care about. If he’s not texting you it’s because he doesn’t want to, not because he’s too busy.
He communicated with you via snapchat for months
- Ugh snapchat. If a man cannot ask you for your number please realize that he is not a man, he is a boy. Snapchat is fine for communication at first. However, if you’ve been going on dates/talking/hanging out for months and he STILL contacts you only via snapchat… girl that’s a sign that he doesn’t view you as long term.
He doesn’t plan real dates
- I feel like this is an obvious one, however there are implications with this. Just because he plans a date doesn’t mean that he is doing it out of love for you. He might be using it as a way to come off like he cares. If you notice that every time you start to distance yourself from him that he takes you out on a date, he is using it as a way to keep you hooked.
He mentions his ex quite frequently
- If he mentions his ex at all on the first date, RUN!!! This is a sign that he probably isn’t over her and that she is on his mind a lot. While it is healthy to not completely cut an ex out of your life (aka burning photos and pretending it never happened), if he still has posts up with her and is mentioning her in convos…he’s going to use you to get over her.
His friends don’t even know what you guys are
- If he liked you, his friends would know! If he doesn’t bring you around your friends, this is a clear sign he doesn’t see long term. But what if he does bring you around his friends?? This can caused mixed signals, making you think that he wants you in his life for longer. However, if you’re hanging out with his friends and THEY don’t even know what you are, he’s playing games.
He doesn’t make an effort to call/ft (especially right now)
- Especially right now in quarantine, it is almost impossible to communicate and have a lively conversation with someone via texting. He probably doesn’t have much going on right now, so if he doesn’t even give you once or twice a week to call/ft, then he was never in it for you as a person.
Girl, know your worth. One boy’s “I’m not ready for something serious” is another man’s “I’ve been praying for a girl like her.” Wait for that.
With Love, Marin